By Jim Diamond

 

Goodbye Joshua Brett

From your first days as an intern

You were always a good guy and became a great friend

You didn’t fit into the newsroom of the future

That shouldn’t be seen as a bad thing for you

By firing you, like many others before,

Those asshats have all but killed a once proud paper

Be glad you are no longer employed there

 

And it seems to me you worked that beat

Like you cared about your audience

Never knowing when the next furlough or layoff would come

And I would have liked for you to stay

But I know you will go on to better things

As that paper continues to devolve into the abyss

An idea-thieving columnist stays

While hard workers like you, Chip, and Mo are gone

 

Sure you drink some weird-smelling tea

And your hand lotion smells even worse

But you were a great guy to have next to me the last four years

Your troll job last trade deadline day was masterful

Sending waves across North America

Thinking Leggy had been traded

And when he did go to Detroit later

You looked like a genius

 

And it seems to me you worked that beat

Like you cared about your audience

Never knowing when the next furlough or layoff would come

And I would have liked for you to stay

But I know you will go on to better things

As that paper continues to devolve into the abyss

An idea-thieving columnist stays

While hard workers like you, Chip, and Mo are gone

 

Your Twitter is quite bizarre

But that is part of your charm… I guess

Springsteen, The Room, and humidity

All in the regular rotation

But we put up with it

Since there was bound to be something about hockey to come

So as you put that paper in your rearview mirror

Know that we hope the best for you in the future